Funny Quotes

Laughter is the best medicine, Wat-Not’s gotta daily dose of it just for you!
From clever one-liners to hilarious observations about life, our funny quotes are more than just a good giggle—they’re a reminder that even in the midst of life’s ups and downs, there’s always room for a little humour. Whether you’re looking to brighten your day, inspire someone else, or just enjoy a good chuckle, you’ll find something here that speaks to your funny bone. The Funny Quotes section is updated everyday to add unlimited laughter to your lives!

Tickles and Giggles

“All my life I thought the air was free…until I bought a bag of chips.”

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.”
— Ace Ventura, “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective”

“Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
—George Burns

“A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.”
—Dave Barry

“When you get angry take a breath and count to 10.
Throw a punch at 8, nobody expects that.”

“Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.”
– Mark Twain

“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”
― Phyllis Diller

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
– Elbert Hubbard

“Friends make you smile — best friends make you giggle ’til you pee your pants.”
— Terri Guillemets

“The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him.”
– Oscar Wilde

“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
— Robin Williams